Step 99: You Don't Have to Win

One of the treasures of my life was my friendship with George Sheehan. We ran together, joked together, philosophized together. His wonderful writing nourished me. His view of the integration of exercise and living was brilliant, and his book "Running and Being" remains one of my top favorites. George died after a long bout with prostate cancer. We talked often toward the end. He was a terrible patient, as most doctors are. I did my best to keep his spirits and energy up.

You Win at Life by Placing Last

We were soul brothers except for one thing. George wanted to win. His life strategy was to be first. Probably not as intense as Vince Lombardi's, his insistence in beating the other fellow was nevertheless a constant. In contrast, my ego survives being passed by all the time. It doesn't bother me one bit to come in last, as long as I come in. I love the saying, "Life is the one game you win by coming in last." I am practicing that approach.

My analysis of exercise is to pay no attention to time. The rest of my life is so driven by 15-minute increments that when I jog or do any exercise, I want to do it without having to finish in any particular time. Who is going to remember who came in first anyway?

Don't Let Competition Create Barriers

The idea of competition and winning is part of the lure of sports for many people, but it is also a major barrier for others. In competing, the likelihood of losing -- after all, there can be only one winner, and a whole lot of losers -- is intimidating and therefore a negative feature in encouraging people to exercise. But exercise isn't about winning. It is about participating, doing something, anything.

The process of aging, slow as it is, dictates that you are going to lose if you insist on competing with the you of yesterday. Yet you can be the best for today by being active and retaining your best function and form.

The need for physical exercise is a remnant of millions of years of walking. Such a pace has sustained our existence on this earth, and it is how we came to understand our surroundings. In our lifelong journey, speed and winning have little relevance. Being a part of nature -- not dominating it -- is the issue.

Life Is Not a Spectator Sport

But just because the idea of winning is not the reason for exercise, it doesn't mean that you can sit around and watch. Someone wisely said that life is not a spectator sport. It has to be played and engaged. Growing older is a slow process, but it can become much faster if you don't participate.

The difference between activity and inactivity, when multiplied by years of living, is the major determinant of how your later life will be lived. If you race at the start and don't pace yourself, you will lose. If you don't even start -- or halt along the way -- you will lose. Keeping the pace, staying the course, is the master strategy. If you offered me fast, first, strong or steady, I would always choose steady.